Moving Past Regrets

Regrets. We all have them. The point isn't to make believe we don't have regrets, but what to do after the fact. That's our point of choice, and that point of choosing makes all the difference in the world. Our conditioned response is to feel bad about regrets, or to try and 'fix' things. But the past cannot be fixed, and how many times has feeling bad ever gotten us over anything? There must be a better way. Turns out, there is.

How about regret prevention first?

Look, we're human. We're going to get mad and feel bad, this isn't about avoiding how we feel. This is about how we respond to how we feel. For instance, in a fight with a spouse, instead of actually yelling, how rare is it for us to say in the heat of the moment, "Wow, I really feel like yelling here!" But what a difference in the relationship saying that small truth makes! The next time you get into a red hot argument with your partner, try saying what you want to do, rather than doing it! When you feel like yelling, say you want to, and see what happens! When you experience the shift in your relationship as a result of doing this one simple thing, you are going to think miracles! Remember, it's not "You make me feel like yelling," but "I, feel like yelling here." This simple shift in realizing where the desire to yell is really coming from can transform a bad relationship into a better one, and a good one into a truly great one.

No time for regrets?

We can also regret not spending more time with our kids, our parents, our friends, even our partners.

So much so, that we end up not really being present with them, even with what time we are spending with them. What to do? You can just simply spend more time with them, but that should be done only if it's something you are going to fully enjoy. Yet we can't fully enjoy spending time with someone, if our thoughts are somewhere else. Work. Money. Worries. Spending time with anyone when you don't want to be there is worse than not spending time with them at all. Spending time with someone you are enjoying being around, no matter how much time you spend with them, is what makes satisfying relationships. How to do that though? First, try scheduling a specific amount of time to spend with them each week. How much time with them would make you both happy? Ask them! You just might find that there is an amount you can both happily live with, and the only reason you haven't found out that information yet, was that you never specifically asked for what is called your 'condition of satisfaction.' How much is that? How much time each week would you be satisfied with spending with your partner? Your kids? Your parents? You just might discover that by calculating actual times, that you do have the time to spend with them!

Big money, big regrets!

Then there's the old, easily regrettable, 'mistakes with money thing.' We all do it. Either it's spending too much, or not having enough. Or trying really hard to make a sensible investment, only to see the company go belly up two months after you plunked down a few grand buying up their stocks. It happens. I managed to invest in the stock market twice, each time before the last two huge market dips in our lifetime. That didn't feel good. But that's the point. When things go awry, it doesn't feel good, and admitting that is the first step toward letting go of what happened. This isn't about saying that things are okay when they're not. It's about telling the truth. Truth is, when financial reversals happen, we get upset, angry, or crazy over them. Again, we're human. But again, our point of power is choice. How do we respond to our anger? By getting more angry? Or, by telling the truth about it? "I'm really pissed those stocks crashed!" I know I was! Then what? Well, I could have stayed angry, making certain that the time it took to get back on my feet would surely be increased, or, I had the choice to work on letting go of what felt bad. Truth is, losing that money will never feel good, and it wasn't something I will ever like, or enjoy, yet here I am, and here we are, in this present moment with the power to either feel good or not right now. When it comes to any regrets I've ever had, letting go of the past, and then working to feel good in the present moment, now that the past is gone, was the only way I was ever able to actually let go. This isn't magic, it's work, but the effects of letting go certainly can feel miraculous!

Teach yourself something new.

Most people have been taught to 'work on getting rid of your regrets' when that's impossible. If something happened in the past, and you regret doing it, then you regret doing it. Instead, how about shifting your energy away from what already happened, and onto what you would like to have happen? What could happen is, you give your energy away to things more appealing than having your regrets stay in place. For instance, shifting our energy away from regrets, and onto appreciation, allows us to begin healing. Or if you would prefer, shifting your energy away from not forgiving yourself, to forgiveness, also frees up tremendous amounts of energy. Telling the truth is the best and easiest way to do this. When you are in the middle of a regret and want to shift your focus, actually say out loud to yourself, "Okay, I know I regret this. Now that that's done, how would I like to feel now?"

The Universe is made up of energy. If we keep what energy we have, stuck focusing on regrettable experiences from the past, then it's no wonder that our present moments can be so tiring! All the work I do with people is energy work. The One Penny Millionaire!™ is about taking our energy away from those areas of our lives that we don't want it to be used for, and instead, putting that energy to work for our success. The way we related to having regrets or anger in the past was like hitting ourselves in the teeth with a rock, and then doing it again and again, thinking that now we'll feel better! Yet we don't have to do that anymore. Because once we free our energy up with these practical, usable, processes and tools, then we become the greatest resource for the success of our lives that we have! That's when we really transform our way of being from regrets to resource! Sounds like a formula for success to me!